KDOT’s new clear zone program enhances safety

 

Under the new clear zone program, South central Kansas has a pilot clear zone project under design. The project, in the survey stage, is on U.S. 160/U.S. 183 in Comanche County. The project covers a little over a 5-mile stretch - from the K-1/U.S. 160/U.S. 183 junction north to Fourth Street in Coldwater. The basic scope is to widen shoulders, do grading, extend culverts and replace drainage pipes. (Photo Credit: Google.com) 

By Tim Potter
South Central Kansas Public Affairs Manager

The Wheat State has its share of rural two-lane highways, and KDOT has a new initiative to improve some of them. It’s called the Clear Zone Safety Improvement Program, which KDOT created to focus on highways that don’t have enough right of way to widen or add shoulders and improve the clear zone.

Some might not be familiar with the term “clear zone.” The Federal Highway Administration defines a clear zone as “an unobstructed, traversable roadside area that allows a driver to stop safely, or regain control of a vehicle that has left the roadway.”

KDOT’s clear zone initiative is a $10 million annual program aimed mostly at roadways KDOT refers to as D and E routes.

According to Chris Herrick, KDOT Director of Planning and Development, the program was created to address serious-injury and fatal crashes on some of the state’s lower-volume highways with limited usable shoulders or no shoulders.

“This is part of KDOT’s effort to move toward a more systemic approach to safety,” said Herrick. “A systemic approach looks for road characteristics that may lead to higher crash frequency and severity. This is an example of field and headquarters personnel working together to address a safety need.”

The first step, Herrick said, is to purchase right of way and grade the highway to improve the shoulder width and side slopes. This allows a motorist who leaves the highway more opportunity to recover.

The next step is to pave the improved shoulder when KDOT does a light maintenance job, known as 1R, on the corridor.

Another key part of improving the clear zone is extending structures or moving obstructions farther away from the travel lanes.

Herrick said the program helps address roadway-departure crashes – one of the top contributing factors in fatal crashes.

Projects are being sought statewide, according to Herrick. So far, requests have been received from District Five and District Two in north central Kansas.

“As we proceed with the program, we will be making tweaks and communicating our project expectations to the district so they know exactly what type of projects we are looking to do,” Herrick said.

Avoid carbon monoxide poisoning

Chilly weather is setting in and the thought of waking up to drive in a frigid vehicle before work can leave many feeling cold.

Before you turn that key, be aware of your surroundings. If you are in an enclosed place with no air circulation you could be putting yourself at risk from carbon monoxide gas exposure.

Also known as “the silent killer” carbon monoxide (or CO) is a colorless, odorless gas that can be dangerous if precautions are not taken to avoid poisoning. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), an average of 400 Americans die from unintentional CO poisoning a year. In that same time frame, more than 20,000 visit emergency rooms and 4,000 are hospitalized.

Symptoms from CO poisoning can be easily confused with the flu. The most common symptoms include: headache, dizziness, weakness, upset stomach, chest pain, confusion and vomiting.

Here are some ways you can prevent CO exposure while you are operating or inside a vehicle:

•  Most drivers understand that starting your car in an enclosed garage is not a good idea. But starting a car with a garage attached to your home could put you in danger as well.
• Similarly, once you start your car back out immediately and close the garage door. 
• Be sure to have your exhaust system checked by a mechanic every year. A small leak in the system could cause CO to build up in your car.
• Clear the tailpipe of any ice or snow during inclement weather. If the exhaust pipe is blocked, CO could build up in your car as well.
• Keyless ignition vehicles are growing in popularity. They should always be checked to make sure they are turned off. The car could still be running, even if the keys are not inside.
• Keep the doors locked, and keep children away from the keys. Never leave a child unattended where they could have access to the car and never leave them inside a car alone.

It is a busy time of year, and mistakes do happen. It is a good idea to purchase a carbon monoxide detector for you home just in case. Most injuries and deaths occur while the victims are sleeping.

For more information on how to prevent CO poisoning in your home or work check out the CDC’s safety guidelines here.

Halloween Safety Tips

It's spooky season! If your little ones are out gathering goodies this weekend, here are some safety tips to keep in mind:

Drivers:

• Turn on your headlights to improve visibility - Even in the day time.
• Watch for trick-or-treaters on curbs, streets and medians. They could be wearing darker costumes so keep your eyes peeled.
• Slow down in residential areas.  Give yourself extra time to react should a trick-or-treater dash into the road.
• Be sure to scan both sides of the street as you drive. Be prepared  to stop for trick-or-treaters.

Trick or Treaters:

 If you are young at heart and will be taking to the streets to collect some goodies, there are a few things you need to know:

• Let your parents or guardians know where you will be going. Create a route and stick to it. 
• Follow safety rules, and look both ways before crossing the streets. Don’t cross between vehicles.
• Trick or treat in a group. It can be more entertaining and safer. Younger children should be with a responsible adult or youth.
• Be bright at night - ensure that that your costume can be seen by drivers. Enhance your costumes with reflective tape or glow sticks.
• You should be able to see without difficulty. Don’t wear bulky masks or head gear. Consider using non-toxic face make up or paint.
• Carry a flashlight inside your Halloween bucket or bag so you can see where you are going. DON’T shine it into the eyes of drivers.
• Stay on sidewalks - if you must walk in the street, walk on the left side, facing traffic.

We hope you have a happy Halloween! 

For crash victims’ families, the moment of truth about the worst

Part of a Kansas Highway Patrol trooper’s job is notifying next of kin when a person dies in a car crash. One trooper remembers a mother collapse in a doorway. Another caught a mother crumpling to the floor. This is the final story in the four-part series involving KHP death notifications. 

 Watch Trooper Wright's video and read the story below.

‘They know why you’re there’

Technical Trooper Nick Wright

Technical Trooper Nick Wright recalls a crash where a 17-year-old had been killed because a 16-year-old crossed into his lane and struck him head-on just before he was to exit. She was allegedly speeding and texting.

It was Wright’s first death notification in which he was the lead investigator. What Wright remembers most is the follow-up investigation a day or two later at a home where some of the 17-year-old’s family had gathered. Maybe 15 people joined around a dining room table – all of their eyes on him. He remembers the father saying he couldn’t sleep. The father was obsessed about how the girl came to be where she was when she lost control. Wright recalls them being a loving, forgiving family.

Now, every time Wright drives past the cross put up near where the two cars collided – it’s a neatly weeded roadside memorial, “I think about it,” he said.

In another crash, a young man had become intoxicated and was found in his wrecked SUV at the bottom of a steep embankment. After he died, Wright and his patrol partner pulled up outside the mother’s home. She was standing at the screen door. When she saw the troopers, she collapsed to her knees. “They know why you’re there,” he said of those moments.

He introduces himself the same way every time: “Hey, I’m Trooper Wright. Can I come inside?”

With the grieving mother, he remembers getting her tissue from the kitchen and maybe a glass of water. Still, years later, he can see her home. “I could almost draw the inside of her house.”

He was relieved when a chaplain showed up to help comfort her. He explains that when giving death notifications, he and another trooper go in as a pair. “We kind of pick who’s saying the words before we go there.” He’s been with the KHP for 16 years now. So he feels like he should offer to say “the words” to the loved ones if he’s with a less experienced trooper. It’s part of his personality, he said. He’s a greeter at church. “I’m kind of a people person.”

About “the words”: “You cut straight to the chase,” he said. If he’s notifying a young woman that her father has died in a crash, for example, he’ll say it as clearly and clinically as possible: “I’m really sorry to tell you, but your dad’s been killed in a crash.”

The reactions vary. Some loved ones pass out, some fall, some sob, some deny it, some get angry. Anything can happen.

 “You learn to talk to people,” he said. “You are greatly affecting these people’s lives.”

He remembers hugging a family before he left. Most people in law enforcement, he noted, don’t hug on the job. Still, he said, “You can’t be robotic. You just have to be a person to them. You are delivering the worst news to this person. There’s no good way you can do it. … I remember choking back tears.”

Finding new ways to cycle safely

 By Don Snyder

Don Snyder at a cycling event.

Five years ago, I wrote an article about my personal experience with roadway safety after others heard my story about surviving a car-bicycle crash I was involved in. That story detailed what had occurred on a late evening ride in May 2014 when my wife and I were struck from behind by an inattentive motorist. Fortunately, we both survived that incident, although there were lingering effects from our injuries for some time after that unfortunate event (read 2016 story here).

Now I’m sharing an update to my current status as an avid cyclist, what experiences I have had and what changes I may have made since this accident.

I suppose as a natural progression of my cycling activities, I have become involved with other types of events, as well as becoming more involved with group rides. Many may be aware that the gravel riding scene has grown rapidly, and I too have become more active in these types of rides. Of course, there is typically much less traffic on gravel roads than on paved roadways, so naturally less chance for conflicts with motorized traffic. The lower speeds vehicles travel on unpaved roads also gives more time for both drivers and cyclists to react to each other’s presence.

 I have also discovered a great group of fellow cyclists to ride with on shorter evening rides and longer weekend events. Travelling in a larger group makes all of us more visible than we would be on solo rides, and vehicular traffic seems to be more conscious of passing our larger groups more cautiously.

 There are also more options these days for locations to ride that are not on major roadways. The City of Wichita and the surrounding areas have a pretty decent network of both paved and unpaved riding trails that cyclists can utilize where we do not have to be as cognizant of other road users.

I still do some paved road cycling where I am riding in the same type of environment where I had my accident seven years ago, but I make every effort to be aware of vehicles on the same roads I am on. I have used a rear-view mirror that is attached to my helmet for many years so I can see what is approaching from behind. I also choose not to have any audio devices playing while I ride so I am more aware of the sounds of others on the roadway.

So, in conclusion, I did not let the accident I was involved with take away what has become my favorite pastime, and of course I was very blessed that my injuries did not create permanent debilitating physical issues. Cycling will always be part of my lifestyle as long as I am physically able to ride, and the lessons I have learned while riding have made me more safety conscious so I can continue these activities. 

Motorists and cyclists both have to share the same roadways to get to our destinations, and we all need to be aware of others on our journeys and show the same level of respect we want for ourselves.

 

Don Snyder is the KDOT Metro Engineer in Wichita

 

 

My grandson is safe thanks to his car seat

By Brenda White

In July 2017, my husband, Marvin, was taking our three-year-old grandson, Macen, to daycare for the afternoon. It was a rainy day, around noon, on a Topeka city street when a ¾-ton pickup truck lost control on a curve and slammed into my husband’s car. 

Our grandson was in his car seat on the opposite side of the car where the majority of the impact occurred. Even though my husband had severe injuries, our grandson remained safely in the car seat with minor cuts from the seat belt and from glass. 

They transported him in the ambulance with my husband. Emergency personnel took our grandson in the fully intact car seat in the ambulance to the local hospital.  He was checked out and released that same day. 

I firmly believe the car seat saved Macen from more severe injuries. My husband was also able to focus on talking to Macen in the car until others were there to help get them out. 

Properly installed and used car seats for children save lives. I truly believe this. Macen is proof of that and thriving as a seven-year-old boy now. 

Brenda and her husband reside in Topeka.

The importance of good driving decisions

By Casey Simoneau

Casey Simoneau (third from right), with his family

It was an unexpected call when asked to do a follow-up to the blog that I wrote nine years ago. Many lives have been changed since that time, including my own. I no longer work for the Kansas Highway Patrol, but I am running my own business and serving as Mayor of Baldwin City. However, past experiences always stay and impact your future decisions, and my work for the Kansas Highway Patrol is no exception to the rule.

As my life may have taken on a new direction, the memories from my time in law enforcement still impact me even more now than before. When I wrote the previous story, I had one child. But now I have three children and one on the way. I still find myself driving the same highways I once patrolled and continue to be reminded of the fatalities I had worked in those specific areas. I use those moments to explain to my children the importance of good decisions. 

Each person has decisions to make, and sometime those decisions have a positive or negative impact on another person in our communities. Unfortunately, often times the decision to drive while impaired, with alcohol or drugs, have a more immediate impact on families, friends and communities. Those decisions lead to memories and pain that is never forgotten.  

I still drive K-10 and see the cable barriers that were installed after a traffic accident that I worked involving young children. I often tell the story of a sibling of the deceased child. I remember her sitting on my lap on the days following the accident and giving her a Trooper Bear. Those memories do not leave me.

A community came together and mourned the loss of the child and rallied around the family to create change so that it did not happen to another family. Cable barriers were installed shortly after to help lessen the opportunity of that type of event occurring again.   TOGETHER this community helped to save lives.

This is the most profound memory of all the fatalities that I worked. I often find myself thinking about what could have been. The sister would be nearing her teenage years now and all she has is a distant memory of her brother. She will never have the same experiences as others. She will not remember fighting with her brother, celebrating with her brother or snuggling her brother. A community lost the opportunity to see a child grow. All these lives changed over a person’s bad decision. Often poor decisions can be made right, but this one can never be undone.

Please think before you drive as you do not know the negative impacts of your decision to your family, friends and community. It may be a decision that cannot be made right and can leave many lives changed forever.

Casey Simoneau is the Mayor of Baldwin City

Link to previous blog here

This was no accident

By Adrienne Siddens

Randall and Adrienne Siddens with their children.

On May 5, 2019, Randall left the house early to go to work and he never made it home. Randall was a husband, stay-at-home dad, runner, builder, and friend to all. When he kissed me, said goodbye, and walked out of the house that morning, he was in the prime of his life. At 33 years old, he had a beautiful two-year-old daughter who adored him and a spunky almost one-year-old son who had barely had a chance to do the fun father/son activities that every dad looks forward to. Randall and I were excitedly preparing to find out the gender of our third and final baby, renovating our home, and accomplishing the goals we had been dreaming of during our nine years of marriage.

Randall worked that morning at the Tri-Zou triathlon event in Columbia, Missouri. He had set up the racecourse, worked on the race staff throughout the event, and was picking up cones after it was finished. He worked for the race company, UltraMax, for a few years and their team always worked with care to make their racecourses safe for both the runners and the staff. They were professionals in their field. But no amount of safety precautions can protect you from the reckless choices of others.

In an intersection marked with race cones, an unlicensed, uninsured driver was going 10 miles per hour over the speed limit while on a video call, before she looked up to see the police escort that was blocking traffic behind Randall and his team. To avoid crashing into the police car, she swerved around it, never even noticing the cones or the workers who were in front of it.

When she hit Randall, throwing him 100 feet through the air, he broke his pelvis and ribs, and suffered a severe trauma to his head. Randall spent the next seven months in multiple hospitals, ICU’s, and rehab facilities and passed away on November 18, just two weeks after his 34^th birthday. He missed his son’s first birthday, the birth of his third daughter, and countless other events he had been looking forward to.

The news articles all call it a tragic accident, but this was no accident. Accidents happen regardless of careful planning and attention. The unnecessary and senseless wreck that took his life was the direct result of choice. The woman who hit him chose to break multiple laws that day. She chose to get behind the wheel of a car despite knowing it was not lawful to do so. She chose to be reckless in her haste to get where she was going. She chose to prioritize her phone conversation over the safety of herself and others.

Those choices were intentional and not by accident, making Randall’s death a choice someone made as well. The choices made behind the wheel of a car may seem insignificant at the time, but every moment and every choice have the potential to change lives forever. Randall, our children, myself and even the driver who will spend her next five years in prison, all suffered life altering consequences that day because of distracted and irresponsible driving.

 

CLICK HERE for a video narrated by Adrienne and Sgt. Andrew Perkins about the crash.  

 

For crash victims’ families, the moment of truth about the worst

Part of a Kansas Highway Patrol trooper’s job is notifying next of kin when a person dies in a car crash. One trooper remembers a mother collapse in a doorway. Another caught a mother crumpling to the floor. This is the third story in the four-part series involving KHP death notifications. 

Watch Trooper Dryden's video and read the story below.

‘Don’t beat around the bush’

Master Trooper Joel Dryden

Master Trooper Joel Dryden reminds himself that a death notification is prompted by an event so sudden, it’s not as if the loved ones can prepare for it. Families have so many questions about how and why it happened. They might keep asking the same question. “They’re still trying to make sense out of it. You don’t always get answers, and that’s also hard to deal with,” he said.

After about 17 years with the Highway Patrol, death notifications remain the hardest part of the job, Dryden said. He patrols Harvey County.

With experience, he decided he needs help dealing with a family. Chaplains are a big help; they assist by bringing in relatives and others who can help.

The academy instructs troopers, “Don’t beat around the bush,” he said. “There’s no way to say it that it’s not going to hurt,” he said. He uses words that are clear and to the point: like “killed” or “died,” not long phrases that delay the news.

He has a strategy when he goes to a family’s home: Coax them into the house, get them to sit down. But sometimes they don’t want to sit. “It’s like they know – ‘As soon as I go and sit on the couch, this is real,’ so there are some who really resist hearing the news.”

Once, he was getting ready tell a mother that her young adult son had died. She wouldn’t sit down, was “kind of forcing me to say it.” And as she stood there, “Just immediately her body went limp,” and all he could do was try to brace her as she sank to the floor. They just sat there.

“You end up putting yourself in their shoes,” he said. 

Put the brakes on fatalities for those who work on the highways

By Marilyn Goodheart

September 6, 1995, started out like every other morning. My husband, Master Trooper Dean Goodheart, left home for his job with the Kansas Highway Patrol. Dean was headed east on I-70 around 6:30 that morning when he observed a semi and proceeded to stop it for an inspection. 

He stopped behind the semi, turned on his emergency lights and began to perform the roadside safety inspection. As he stepped down from the driver's door of the semi cab, a westbound car driven by a young college student struck him. Dean's injuries were immediately fatal, and my life and our family were changed forever.

Dean was just 49 years old at the time of his death and had served the citizens of Kansas for 23 years. He knew the dangers he faced in this profession, but he loved to help people. The driver had been driving all night to return to college. It is a known fact that sleepy and distracted drivers are as dangerous as drunk drivers.

This crash could have been prevented had the driver just slowed down and moved to the far lane and away from the emergency lights. The "Move Over'' Law had not been in force at that time. That lead the Kansas State Troopers Association to begin a crusade to bring the Move Over Law to Kansas. They reached out to me to advocate for the Move Over Law and hoping no one else would have to endure the same pain we did, I did advocate for the Move Over Law.

In 2000, House Bill 2641 was signed into law requiring drivers to “Slow Down and Move Over” near stopped emergency vehicles. This bill is known by many as the “Goodheart Law” and has reduced the number of emergency vehicles and officers being struck. Goodheart's Law was amended during the 2006 Legislative Session to incorporate roadside crews, such as the Patrol's Motorist Assistance Technicians and the Kansas Department of Transportation's highway road crews. The amendment requires traffic on four-lane highways to move away from vehicles engaged in highway construction or maintenance operations when those vehicles display amber flashing lights.

Since this law went into effect, it has saved countless lives and prevented injury and property damage. I believe Dean continues to protect the citizens, visitors, first responders, and his fellow colleagues due to this law.

Because of this tragedy, I became active with National Concerns of Police Survivors (C.O.P.S.). In March 2001, some of our Kansas survivors and myself were instrumental in starting a Kansas chapter to be there for other survivors. Kansas Concerns of Police Survivors supports families of officers killed in the line of duty.

Thanks to the hard work and dedication by Colonel Mark Bruce and his staff, Governor Jeff Colyer signed SB 375 into law on May 8, 2018, which designates memorial highways across Kansas in honor of the sacrifice our fallen officers have made. SB 375 was unanimously passed by both the House and Senate before its adoption. My husband Dean’s marker is located on Highway 83 north of Oakley and continues to Highway 24 west of Colby.

It's been 26 years since we lost Dean. This one moment in time caused my family's life to change forever. I lost my husband and best friend of 15 years. My children and grandchildren lost a great father, grandfather and mentor. Only three of my grandchildren were born before he was killed. He is missed by family, friends and co-workers at all functions in our life such as graduations, weddings, holidays and school activities.

There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of Dean. As you pass these highway markers, please remember to give all first responders and road crews room to work so they may go home to their families.

Marilyn Goodheart

KS C.O.P.S. Treasurer
Kansas Concerns of Police Survivors

 

Mothers' losses motivate them to focus on SAFE

 Continuing their efforts

Sandi Reneberg and Denise Miller

In 2013, Sandi Reneberg lost her son, and in 2015, Denise Miller lost her daughter in crashes because they were not wearing seat belts. They shared their stories in the Put the Brakes on Fatalities Day blog series in 2017 – it can be read here.

After these losses, Sandi and her husband helped to start the SAFE program at Thunder Ridge High School in Kensington and Denise, a high school teacher, sponsored the program at the school. While seat belt usage for students at the school has increased, they are continuing their efforts to help reduce traffic fatalities.  

So many lives cut short - Update

By Denise Miller and Sandi Reneberg

Although the SAFE (Seatbelts Are For Everyone) program has been active at Thunder Ridge High School (TRHS) since 2015, Sandi and Denise both are keenly aware some students still travel without securing their seat belts.  A SAFE seat belt survey taken in February 2020 showed a decline in those buckled up, along with an increased number of distracted drivers. Something needed to change.

Adolescents, and many adults, need routine reminders of what is important.  In March of 2020, the SAFE program at the high school provided just such a reminder. With the cooperation of local emergency personnel and parents who know the pain of losing a child, TRHS held an assembly for students. Parents were also encouraged to attend. 

The program began with an eye-opening video about the dangers of texting and driving. Officers from the Sheriff's Department, volunteer firefighters, and EMT first responders gave accounts from their experiences at accident scenes. Each had difficult memories of a time when he/she had been first to the crash location. Their testimonies were followed by emotional appeals from broken-hearted parents.

In this rural Kansas community, everyone looks out for each other. When one member of the close-knit neighborhood is lost, everyone is affected. Parents pleaded with students to ALWAYS buckle up - if not for themselves, then for their family and friends, because every day is a struggle for those left behind. 

After the assembly, a senior boy approached Denise saying, “You know, Mrs. Miller, I have never worn my seat belt. But after today, I will never be without it.”  

The Thunder Ridge SAFE Program, which Denise continues to sponsor at TRHS, hosts programs like Miss Kansas and ThinkFast Interactive to increase teen awareness about traffic safety. Sandi’s family began a “5th Quarter” event following Friday night games, where teens can hang out with their friends without traveling the roadways. 

Both families, along with community members, stay focused on the task at hand - keeping our kids safe. Denise and Sandi move forward in faith that making an impression on one student is worth it!

 

I should have tried harder to motivate him

By Chris Fisher

Chris Fisher, center, with his brother, left, and father.

Even though it has been nearly four years since my dad’s accident, I still remember that day, and days that follow like it was last week.  I can play
it all back in my head.  Every single moment.

It was February 12, 2018.  10:30 a.m.  One day after his 60^th birthday.

My dad, who was a stone and brick mason had just picked up a load of sand in Bonner Springs for a job he was doing a little farther down the road in Johnson County.  Just as he exited one highway for another, for some reason left the road to the left, overcorrected, crossed the road to the right and overcorrected again. 

Dad rolled his one-ton dually, loaded with sand two-and-a-half times.  He was ejected on the last roll, which sent him head-first through the driver’s side window.  He went straight up in the air and then came straight down, also head-first.

Dad wasn’t wearing a seat belt.  He never did.

Out of all my memories of the accident, the one that I wish I could forget the most happened the day after his death as we went to collect dad’s belongings inside the mangled truck.

I was expecting wreckage far more dramatic. In my head I was hoping to encounter some gnarly pile of twisted metal in a heap that nobody could have survived – seat belt or not. 

That was not the case.

In fact, the cab of his truck was fully intact.  Yes, it was banged up, but all but the driver’s side window was still in place.  Both doors opened with little effort. 

The truck Chris' dad was driving at the time of the crash.

Dad would have walked away from that crash if only had he been wearing a seat belt.

Ugh.

After the accident I beat myself up because I felt like I could have done something more to motivate him to wear a seat belt. I should have tried harder.  I would tell him about all the tragic accidents we cover at WIBW, the overwhelming data that supports how seat belts save lives, how people would die all the time when they didn’t have to.  Blah blah blah.  It all fell on def ears, God love him.

My dad had retirement in his sights.  He was looking forward to becoming a full-time farmer – his herd of cattle was growing, he spent weekends on the property putting up fence and making improvements.  He was really working hard to set himself up to enjoy his golden years. 

But that didn’t happen.

He worked six days a week for nearly 40 years only to die while on his way to work.

Chris Fisher is the Digital Media Manager at WIBW-TV

Please read Chris’ previous blog here

You just have to breathe through the pain

By Jacque Tierce

Danielle Tierce

 Sleepless nights, severe anxiety attacks, uncontrollable crying, deep depression, high blood pressure, nightmares, replaying the past, and daydreaming of what the future could have been are a glimpse at living through the loss of a loved one. Birthdays, holidays, new births, weddings, first days of school, and such are all constant reminders, she’s not here and never will be again. Sometimes you just have to breathe through the pain. A pain that will be there for the rest of your life.

On May 26, 2018, my beautiful daughter, Danielle, made a decision that not only took her life, but flipped life upside down for her entire family and so many friends. She was texting on Snapchat while driving down the highway at 65 mph, didn’t see a semi in front of her that slowed to make a turn, and slammed into the back of it without braking. Thankfully she did not have her 3-year-old son with her and thankfully nobody else was injured, physically anyway.

“I miss my mommy,” her son tells me. Me too buddy, me too. “My mommy had an accident right here,” he says as we drive by the dreaded oil-stained spot on the highway. She has already missed his first day of school, several birthdays, first experience playing baseball, school programs, and countless other events with so many yet to come. All moments Danielle would have been glowing over. Her son was her life. Those opportunities are gone for both Danielle and her son now because of a Snapchat that just couldn’t wait. Now we spend our time trying to keep her memory alive for him, telling “mommy stories,” and breathing through the pain.

I spent the remainder of 2018, all of 2019, and the beginning of 2020 (until COVID hit) traveling around to different schools in Kansas and Oklahoma telling our story. At my side was Shiane Wondra. Shiane’s story is exactly the same as Danielle’s, except Shiane lived through it. “Is it a risk you are willing to take?” - we would ask the students. I would leave each presentation and drive home bawling the entire way, sleep for hours afterwards, and pray we made an impact on at least one! If we can save just one family from going through this pain, it’s worth it.

What is distracted driving? One might think, it’s a text message. While texting and driving is one form of distraction, it’s not the only form. Being distracted is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as, “having one’s thoughts or attention drawn away.” Therefore, anything that takes your eyes or mind off of the road is a distraction.

I cannot tell you the number of live videos, pictures being taken, phone calls being made, or people scrambling around to find something in their car while driving. I STILL have friends that do these things. It’s heartbreaking. Some people just will not get it until they go through it. It can change your entire life, or the life of another, in a matter of seconds.

On our Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/doit4danielle/, is my original blog and countless stories of tragedies such as ours. Help spread the word! Help save a life! No matter what your age is, be the example. Make a commitment today to put your phone down while driving. Meanwhile, I will continue to share our story and breathe through the pain.

 

Jacque Tierce, a grieving mom

Link to Jacque's previous blog here

 

For crash victims’ families, the moment of truth about the worst

Part of a Kansas Highway Patrol trooper’s job is notifying next of kin when a person dies in a car crash. One trooper remembers a mother collapse in a doorway. Another caught a mother crumpling to the floor. This is the second story in the four-part series involving KHP death notifications. 

 Watch Trooper Hileman's video and read the story below.

‘Squeezing each other’s hand so tight’

Technical Trooper Tod Hileman

Technical Trooper Tod Hileman has done a “handful” of death notifications over the years.

“One sticks out the most to me,” he said. In a way, it was personal for Hileman.

It was a double-fatality crash on a highway at the edge of a town. There had been three teenage girls in one car that crossed into the oncoming lane, hitting the other car head-on. In the other car, the two occupants had been buckled in. When Hileman arrived, they were standing outside their car.

It was different at the girls’ car: The driver had been “jettisoned” through the windshield. She was dead, lying on the pavement in front of her car, a sheet over her. A girl in the back seat had been wearing only a lap belt, high over her stomach. She also died. Only the front seat passenger was properly buckled in. She had injuries, but they weren’t life-threatening.

The last thing the survivor remembered was a cell phone going off. It appeared the driver had reached down for the phone when she veered over the line.

Hileman had work to do with the team of Highway Patrol investigators who collect evidence, take measurements and diagram the scene – to reconstruct what happened. It was hectic because traffic had to be redirected on the busy highway. He was going through the car, looking for items that might need to be collected as evidence. So he had to look through the girls’ personal items. All had IDs.

Part of the process is to make sure that victims are being correctly identified. It involves taking the ID and matching it to the person – a body.

So Hileman was at the point where he had to walk over to the girl covered by the sheet, lift it. She was on her back. He lowered the ID close to her face and quickly confirmed a match.

He was still over her body, he recalled. “And it just dawned on me …. All these thoughts and emotions were going through my head.”

She was the same age as his daughter, and like his daughter, she was tall, “very pretty,” same hair color, same eye color.

“I just kind of had a flash that it was my daughter lying there.”

 And then he paused in retelling it -- paused maybe five seconds.

“So that really hit me,” he said, finishing.

Later, “being a dad,” he reacted to the crash by beseeching his daughter: “Please. Please,” he told her. “Pay attention. This is horrible.”

That day at the crash scene, after the bodies had been removed and car towed away, he was notified that the driver’s parents were waiting on the other side of town, at the father’s workplace. On his way, he thought to himself: “This is the worst part of our job.”

He explained: “It’s very emotional, and I’m a soft-hearted person anyway.”

He pulled up to the father’s business in his official car and uniform and saw her parents, standing, surrounded by people he assumed were relatives.

“Looking at them, already I had this covering of dread all over me, especially with a young person that’s just starting life ….

“So dad was standing on my right, mom’s on my left. Dad has his arm around mom’s shoulders.” The father was taller, so “she’s got her arm around his waist,” he recalled.

“And they were grasping hands in the middle, between them. … What caught my attention was they were squeezing each other’s hand so tight … I just got the sense, like if they could squeeze each other’s hand tight enough,” that he would “tell something else,” he recalled.

“Their knuckles were white.”

After he had parked his car, “all eyes were on me.” As he was trained to do when getting out of his car, he grabbed his trooper hat. But that time, he threw it back into the car, walked up to them and “told them the words they never ever wanted to hear in their life.”

The parents sobbed. He doesn’t remember what they said, because in that moment he was emotional too.

 “You try to save kids’ lives,” Hileman said. “I have to relive this over and over again. And maybe I can reach someone with that story.”

Still, he said, it’s so emotionally taxing for him, he doesn’t tell the story often.