Every parent's nightmare is to outlive their child

 By Todd Linder

March 13, 2023, I lost my 16-year-old Cassandra Kay Linder in an automotive crash in Garden City. My daughter’s car was struck head-on by a commercial truck that swerved into her lane. At 4:45 p.m., I received a call from a deputy sheriff who told me that Cassy had been in a bad car crash and that she was alive but hurt very badly and that I needed to rush to the hospital.

I rushed out of UniFirst and into my car and drove and prayed all the way to the hospital. When I arrived, some nurses had come out and said she was alive, and the doctors were doing everything they could to help her. In the minutes that followed, other family members and friends started showing up. After 15 minutes, two doctors and two nurses emerged from the ER, and I knew what they were about to tell me. The feeling of hurt and sadness can’t be described in words.

After a sleepless night, the Kansas Highway Patrol called me and asked if they could come to our home and provide us with some of the details of the crash. When he arrived, he told us the CMV had been equipped with an onboard camera and with tears in his eyes he said he watched the entire crash happen on video. 

The officer told us Cassy did nothing wrong and that the CMV driver was at fault for the collision. The investigation is still not finalized, but the officer told us that the other driver was distracted at the time of the crash and likely fatigued. I knew in my heart that she had done things correctly from the beginning, the way she was taught.

The immense pain and loss our family feels are indescribable, and I share this grief-filled journey not for sympathy, but to shed light on a crucial issue: the importance of road safety, especially concerning commercial truck drivers. In a world of constant connectivity, the line between professional and personal life is often blurred, especially for commercial drivers. The pressure to meet tight deadlines, long hours on the road and lure of smartphone notifications can easily lead to distractions. But what many might brush off as a mere second of inattention can lead to irreversible tragedies.

A little bit about Cassandra, she was born September 29, 2006, in Lakin, Kansas. Cassandra loved to read, she had excellent grades/attendance in school and was active in Stucco, Halo, dance and loved being a manager for track and basketball. She was popular in school because she was real. She was also a gymnastics coach for the Gymnastics Center where she worked part time after school and during the summer last year. She loved her job. She also loved listening to music and especially Taylor Swift. For Christmas this year, I purchased her a ticket to go to the Taylor Swift Concert in July. She unfortunately did not get to go physically but was there spiritually with her two older sisters. I often describe Cassy as headstrong, caring and a responsible young adult who had the willingness and drive to be successful later in life. 

I was always taught to make the best of any situation, in this case a horrible situation. I have started reading about distracted driving and have become an advocate on the dangers, this has helped me through my grieving process, and helped me keep Cassy’s name alive. Her friends from high school have made signs and posts on social media, and we have visited the Sheriff’s office, EMS and Highway Patrol.

Cassandra was always fond of the sunflower; her vault was covered with sunflowers painted all over it. So, we have made the sunflower emoji the reminder to not drive distracted. When going out to eat, we leave memorial cards at the restaurants with reminders to not drive distracted. We have had a flag made up that we use at local car shows that also reminds others that distracted driving kills.  Her friends and I have also done a news spot about our campaign. We plan to give out cards and decals that have a sunflower as a reminder to not drive distracted. 

The Kansas Department of Transportation also declared the highway where Cassandra lost her life as a Safety Corridor and warns of increased enforcement. The sad thing is when they announced the program many people just didn’t get it, it was ridiculed as a wasteful project of tax dollars. Many said it was just a program to give out more tickets, and others said it’s a violation of their rights. It’s sad to read these comments and in a way, angers me. In my opinion if the signs save just one life, then it all is worth it. I am sure that if the roles were reversed and it was the ridiculer’s child, they would think differently about the Safety Corridors. 

Every parent’s nightmare is to outlive their child. The pain is unimaginable, yet it is a reality for too many families. I urge all drivers, especially those operating large vehicles, to understand the weight of responsibility on their shoulders. Each time you’re behind the wheel, it’s not just about getting from point A to point B, it’s about safeguarding your life and the lives of others on the road.

Please, let’s unite in our commitment to road safety. Please, please, Don’t Drive Distracted.

Thanks for reading Cassy’s story.

Todd Linder

“Father of an Angel”