By Randy Mosher
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| Randy Mosher |
As I sit here today reflecting on my 32 years as a Kansas
State Trooper, it’s hard to think of a stretch of highway in southwest Kansas
that I haven’t seen a fatality accident. Through the years I have had many responsibilities and duties. The duty
that I dreaded the most, and that affected me the most, was the responsibility
to make death notifications to the next of kin of those who died in fatality
crashes.
I have been the messenger that has changed people’s lives
forever, and those notifications have changed me forever. I have been hit,
called a liar and asked why more times than I care to remember.
I remember every time I have pulled up to the houses of
loved ones, put on my campaign hat, practiced what I was going to say, and then
the long wait for someone to come to the door. Then comes the moment where the
door opens, and the person realizes that there is a State Trooper at their door
in the middle of the night, and their world is going to change forever.
I have told friends, and complete strangers that their
loved ones would never come home again. I have shed tears for all of them. Some
right there, right then. Some, at home alone or in my car. I remember all of
them. Some still visit me regularly in person, and some in my dreams.
I remember one of
the crashes when I was stationed in Lakin when three teenagers were killed, and
I was the first on scene. I remember the helpless feeling of not being able to
help the victims. I remember talking to the entire high school where the kids
went to school and telling them what I could about the accident, but most of
all I remember their parents.
I remember an accident in Finney county that killed four
people. I made notification to one person’s parents in Lakin and still remember
the faces of his parents today. Those same parents played in a local band for
years and played at the Kansas State Fair. I was working the fair when they
were playing, and they saw me on a golf cart patrolling the fairgrounds. They
called to me on the microphone and said they wanted to play a song for me. They
explained to the crowd that I had made the notification of their son’s death
and they wanted to play a song for me. That was the day that the big trooper on
the golf cart cried his eyes out!
I remember one of my last
notifications. I was at home taking my dinner break, when dispatch called me
about a fatality crash involving a motorcycle north of Garden City. Dispatch
told me the name of the person killed and my heart sank. It was a friend of
mine. I went to Garden City High School with him and his wife and had worked
with both in different capacities. I visit his final resting place often.
Fatality crashes affect so many people and
communities. I have been to many of the
funerals of those killed in crashes that I have worked. The families and the
communities are forever changed. As I reflect on these crashes I think “only if,”
only if circumstances had been different and we had not lost these lives? I ask
each of you who reads this to think what they can do to put the brakes on
fatalities.
Captain
Randy Mosher is the Troop E Commander for the Kansas Highway Patrol.
Well said Trooper. This is one of the emotionally toughest things for a law enforcement officer to do.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine having to tell a family they lost a loved one. Thank you for your service and for helping families through those difficult times. And thanks for sharing your story - I'm sure many first responders are impacted by fatality crashes.
ReplyDeleteVery touching. WOW
ReplyDeleteI understand completely. I worked A&I for 5 years at my department, and the responsibility for the death notification fell on the assigned investigator's shoulders. I worked HARD to get promoted and back to patrol to get away from it. I, too, still remember the names and faces.....
ReplyDeleteI am sure this is a very hard thing to do and a heavy burden to carry. Blessings to you and your family as I am sure it sometimes affects them too. Thank you for your service and all you do.
ReplyDeleteI remember my kids at a yearly fourth of July party at his mother-in-laws house. Hundred of dollars in fire works getting ready to set off. A police squad car pulls up to one of their neighbors home and everyone outside just stood still and watched. After the officer at the door speaks to someone there, all they hear and heard every day since was the wale of a broken soul. Everything quietly picked up and put away. You cannot celebrate when such grief is so close. Thank you for all that you did and continue to do. God help you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a powerful piece. We know the impact crashes have on those involved and their families, but often don't think about how they affect our troopers and emergency workers. Thank you for bringing this to light.
ReplyDeleteI remember that late night call with the motorcycle wreck on north 83 like it was yesterday. I remember all of us waiting for you to get there so we could walk up with you to the door. He was a co-worker and a long time friend. The whole time waiting for you I thought to myself what would I say. Thank you Randy for what you do.
ReplyDeleteA very difficult thing to do. I’m a retired trooper and have done the same many times. I always worked rural counties. Sometimes at the accident scene or the ER I was told which church the victim had attended. I usually made the notifications myself, a few times the victims minister would go with me. Either way it was not easy. Worse case that I remember. The father of a young victim (high school cheerleader) went to the local PD and pulled a gun on the dispatcher. He heard about the accident before I arrived at the family home. Not going into details about that situation other than the father was jailed for a short time. Many times family members are aware of the situation before a trooper leaves the scene or shortly after he arrives at the ER. Like I said, I worked rural counties, word traveled fast.
ReplyDeleteWell said and my heart goes out to all who have to make these notifications - I was only in on a few of them in my 32 years in the fire service and one to a family member of a fatality accident I responded on - bless you for your service
ReplyDeleteWell said Randy. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteDang bro... You are stronger than anyone I know, I'm proud to be your friend...
ReplyDeleteA Trooper had to notify my stepfather that his father and brother had both died in a semi-truck crash on I-70. I was amazed then that such enormous compassion could accompany such graceful professionalism. Thank you, Trooper. I hope your well-written account spares your colleagues at least a few such occasions.
ReplyDeleteWe had that knock on the door at 4 am one morning. It would take a heart of stone for the officers not to get emotionally involved. God Bless officers everywhere.
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm speechless after reading your words. As I got towards the end I felt a familiar tightness in my throat and my eyesight was blurred with tears.
ReplyDeleteYou sir are far more man than I am. I'm not sure I could be as strong as you.
Although it may be considered a thankless job, I would like to truly thank you for your service from the bottom of my heart!
I too have had the duty to be the bearer of news that no one wants to hear. I served as Sheriff of Kearny County for more that 34 years and delivered way too many death notices to folks whose faces are forever etched in my memory. Capt. Moser you did a great job of explaining our role in death notifications and its permenant effect on us in law enforcement. God bless you and stay safe.
ReplyDeleteWell said Randy, Thank you
ReplyDelete